


5 relationships that failed (and the 1 that hasn't)

by Space_Violets



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: 5 plus 1, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, F/M, M/M, Only "successful" ship is Luke and Spencer, Spencer Reid Centric, also I hella ship moried but their part is angsty, except people are actually gay and bi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:07:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24399238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Space_Violets/pseuds/Space_Violets
Summary: The five relationships in Spencer's past that failed (and the one that hasn't)
Relationships: Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Ethan/Spencer Reid, Lila Archer/Spencer Reid, Luke Alvez/Spencer Reid, Maeve Donovan/Spencer Reid, Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 214





	5 relationships that failed (and the 1 that hasn't)

**Author's Note:**

> Slight angst with (brief) mentions of death and heartbreak. 
> 
> I just love Spencer so much okay?

  1. Amelia 



Spencer was 14. 

She was the second youngest person at Caltech, starting at age 16. 

They became friends instantly, shared the experience of being the youngest, smartest, weirdest person in the room. Spencer was the happiest he's ever been, it was the first time he felt normal since he got to college. 

She kissed him for the first time a year after they became friends. She had walked him to his dorm and ran away as soon as it happened. He laid in bed for 2 hours and thought about it. About her. His best friend who had just kissed him for the first time. 

The next morning he showed up at her room with her favorite coffee in his shaky hands. "Can I walk you to class?" He asked, already feeling his cheeks reddening. She nodded and grabbed his hand. 

She broke it off 3 months later and started dating the frat guy who introduced her to the party scene. 

  1. Ethan 



They grew up competing against each other. Two boy geniuses who lived on the opposite sides of town. Who went to different schools but lived the same experience. Who became friends as soon as Spencer figured out how to ride the bus himself. Who graduated high school the same year, Ethan only a year older but more social than Spencer could ever dream. 

Then Spencer got a scholarship offer from Caltech that he couldn’t refuse. Ethan chose MIT. They called each other every two weeks. Spencer told him about his growing interest in criminal psychology. Ethan tried to explain computer science to Reid who’s only kryptonite has always been technology. They tried to hang out every time they both came back to Vegas until Spencer's trips came few and far between. Then Spencer was 16, graduating with two degrees and no family members in the audience. 

After the ceremony, he started walking towards his dorm knowing he needed to get moved out by the end of the weekend. He turned in surprise when he heard his name called out behind him. 

“Ethan?” He asked, dumfounded. The older boy grinned at him. 

“I’ve missed you Spencer. Missed seeing you in person.” He reached out and gave Spencer a hug. They walked back to the dorm together, Ethan telling him about adding music theory to his computer science and engineering degrees. Asked Spencer later that night about grad school, his breath hitching when MIT is mentioned in his list of offers that were on the table. 

Spencer rode the bus to the airport with him the next morning, agreed to hang out again as soon as he got back to Vegas. Ethan bit the inside of his lip as he said goodbye. 

“MIT is great, you should really consider it. I’m planning on staying for my Masters as well. You’ll love it.” 

“I’ll let you know. I promise.” 

Three months later, Spencer follows his heart and starts at MIT. Ethan convinced the school to let them be roommates in his on campus apartment, even though undergraduates and PhD students living together was unheard of. Six months later, Ethan kissed him for the first time in their shared kitchen, his hands nervously finding their way to Spencer’s waist. In that moment Spencer decided that he would follow Ethan anywhere. 

Three years later, they started their first day at the FBI academy. Then Spencer wakes up the next morning to an empty bed and a letter full of “I’m sorrys” and talks of dreams of becoming a musician. Spencer focused all his energy on the academy because when he thought about anything else, he couldn't breathe. 

  1. Lila 



No one on his team knew but after the case in L.A, Spencer continued talking to Lila on the phone once a week. She convinced him to get an email so she could send him pictures of her on the set of her latest movie. He sent her links to books he recommended to her over the phone. 

It continued for two months before Lila asked the question. “Do you want more?” Spencer shook his head and bit his lip, thinking back to the pool. Back to the way it felt with her lips on his as he brushed his wet hair out of his face. 

“Maybe” he whispered. 

She flew across the country the next time Spencer had a weekend off. 

“Your apartment looks just like I imagined it.” 

“Um… thanks.” He blushed as Lila moved towards him, her hands going to his chest, his face, intertwining in his hair. Spencer grabbed her face in his hand and kissed her. All his worries, about work, about serial killers, disappeared as he pushed her against the wall and she moved to unbutton his shirt. 

It's his first time with a woman. He’s more self conscious and awkward than he remembered ever being in his past relationship. He apologized after but she just laughed and shook her head. “Don’t worry I know it’ll be better next time.” 

There was never a next time. She left the following Monday and broke it off a few weeks later. She started dating another actor and her popularity skyrocketed. 

  1. Derek



Five years. 

They dated on and off for five years. 

Spencer tells the story with a bitter taste in his mouth. He had a crush on his coworker for two years but never thought it would be reciprocated. Until Derek was at his apartment, their Friday evening routine of pizza and a movie. Garcia had bailed so it was just the two of them. 

“You seem happy today kid, what’s going on with you?” Derek asked. Spencer smiled. 

“As my friend and not as a federal agent?” 

“Of course.” 

Spencer reached into his pocket and placed the object into the other man's hand. “It’s my one year sobriety chip from NA. I got it last night. I’m just- just really proud of myself.” 

“I’m proud of you too kid.” He placed the chip back into his hand, lingering for a few moments longer than needed. “So proud.” He whispered before he pulled the young man into his lap and kissed him aggressively. Spencer felt his entire body ignite as he kissed him back. 

Everything he felt for another person before Morgan didn’t matter. His body was fire and ice and every element on earth all at once. He was in love. But blushing at nicknames, small touches, and kisses in the file room turned into “We can’t be public” and “You’re not my boyfriend”. 

They took a break about a year after their first kiss. Morgan started seeing a woman and Reid did his best to act normal at work. Tried to forget about him. Even if he had to see him at work every day. Even starts hanging out with Morgan again as friends. 

Then Derek kisses him again. Whispers of “I’m sorry” pour over his skin like the kisses that trail to his stomach. Spencer forgives him. Again. And again. After five years, Spencer can’t take it anymore. 

“Don’t do this Spencer. Please.” 

“We aren’t the same Derek.” Spencer whispered. “You don’t want a relationship with me. A real relationship.” 

“You know I can’t.” Tears pricked at his eyes and Spencer looked away. 

“Because I’m a guy or because I’m me?” he asked. Derek didn’t reply and Spencer walked out the door. 

It took time but they became friends again. A few years later, Derek marries a woman and starts a family. Leaves the BAU. Spencer does the best he can to not cry. (It doesn’t work.) 

  
  


  1. Maeve



Spencer never believed in soul mates. With Maeve, he thought it could be possible. He fell in love before he ever heard her voice. Pulled up her letters in his mind anytime he was feeling down about work. When he heard her voice for the first time, he almost cried. Because it was so beautiful. 

She was so beautiful. 

Spencer knew it as soon as he heard her voice. No matter what she looked like, she would be the most beautiful girl in the world to him. 

Their phone calls became the highlight of his week and his heart flutters for the first time in years. 

Until the worst day of his life happens and he can’t breathe. 

And then he feels broken. Broken in ways he’s never felt before. Broken because he saw a glimpse of a future for the first time. A normal future where he could have had a house, and kids, and a partner who loved him unconditionally. 

It takes him years to recover. He still dreams of the gun to her head, long after she dies. 

\+ 1. Luke 

“You didn’t have to tell me about them. Thank you. I really appreciate your trust.” Luke told him, his hand playing with the other man’s hair. Spencer smiled, turning his face more towards the pillow on his bed, his own hand resting on Luke’s hip. 

“You’ve told me about your ex-boyfriends, I wanted you to know about them. I’ve told you the rest of my tragic backstory, or you’ve lived through it with me.” His smile faltered slightly, “I want you to know everything.” 

Luke adjusted his position and brought their lips together. “I can’t promise you that I’ll never get added to your list of past relationships but God, I promise I’ll do everything I can to be here for you. Always.” 

Spencer smiled again, “I used to think about this all the time you know? Before we got together.” 

“You used to think about what?” 

“Laying in bed with you, telling you about my life. In prison. I thought about it at night when I couldn’t sleep. I know we weren’t together yet but I liked you. I had liked you since the first time I met you”

Luke shifted again and pulled the other man into an embrace. “I love you” he whispered into his hair. 

“I love you too.” 


End file.
